"A spider bit him, yeah, now he thinks he's some fun loving french dude."
It's time for the next installment of The 2 Songs That... Contain your joy long enough to finish the blog please. :)) Today's songs are The 2 Songs That I totally love on the radio but was bitterly...
View Article"...and he would eat frosting off another man's dick...if that's what it was...
Holymotherfuckingshit you guys. I'm alive. And I'm not now nor was I ever pregnant. Although generally the day before my period is supposed to start I convince myself I am and spend the day poking...
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Every night I whisper in her ear; "Thank you so much for today. I'm excited to see what we do tomorrow." And she says; "Thank you mama. I'll see you in the morning." I'm fairly certain I did not...
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"Dad, how did mom make me in her belly?"
"What?!""Like how did I get in there for mom to grow me?""That's woman talk. Go ask your mom." Happy fourth birthday to the best thing I ever made. I love you G.
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"Just focus on your breath, your terrible, terrible, breath. Where is the...
G's first birthday was for me, the culmination of about a 2 year period of complete familial immersion after essentially acting like an orphan my entire adult life. We had the bridal shower, the...
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"Who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era?"
This post has been a long time coming, and what I learned from it is remember how I'm all 'my house is clean, down with clutter, blah blah blah'? I'm full of shit. Holy bajesus there's so much crap...
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Trifecta
The sweat trickled down my back, I struggled for breath. The teacher reshapes my body; fingers do this, elbow goes here, arm here, shoulder down, chest up, stomach in, turn out at the hip, present...
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"It's like loving a god, or a step parent. You never really feel them love...
I took G to the doctor for allergy eyes (The first morning I totally thought it was pink eye for like 20 minutes and I was plotting which one of my breast feeding friends would most likely donate some...
View Article"I bibbity boppity booed that cat and now it's really mad."
The doorbell rings, it’s the pizza man. You didn’t order pizza. What do you say? Check it out. I'm well outside any kind of food delivery service. Sometimes Fedex doesn't want to get their lazy asses...
View Article"He was my son for awhile, but due to my complicated sex life it turns out...
I find it interesting the two jobs I've most enjoyed are ones that I am essentially being paid (very very poorly) to be a stay at home mom. But just somewhere else. 10 years at the group home....
View Article"It is called Fall because that is what Amelia's happy does. Maybe it needs...
I did really good in August. I FELT really good. My anxiety was low, I planned G's birthday party, I kick boxed and played with my kid. My grief and anxiety were still there, but totally...
View Article"I'm personally not attracted to you, but that's just because I know you."
I knew in the decision making stage that some people would dislike, or even be offended by the fact I have tattoos on my arms for all to see. I took that into consideration, and decided to go ahead...
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"Sometimes you have a happy heart, sometimes you have a grumpy heart, and...
"Mom, how does a baby get made in your belly?" *SHIT SHIT SHIT* "Give mommy a minute to think about that ok?""Ok.""All right. Women have eggs in their bellies and men have sperm. The man gives sperm...
View Article"Eat one of your Luna bars. Very often when women think they're angry,...
A blogger I very much enjoy reading was nominated for a Sunshine award and had to answer questions. She in turn did not nominate anyone else, but posed questions for those that wanted to answer them....
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October 15, 2013
I'm not much of a candle person. You know those warnings about not leaving them unattended? They aren't joking which my old tv can attest to with the circular imprint melted into it when the candle...
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"That's ok, I like myself enough for the both of us."
I have a fairly (over)active fantasy life. And when I'm not being a kung-fu kickboxing mutant ballerina in my head, I also leave time for daydreaming about upcoming events. How I hope they will go,...
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"Several animals were harmed in the making of this film. A piece of shit...
Maybe 2 days before our wedding. Look at this strange girl. I don't even recognize her. Wouldn't know her if I passed her on the street. A few months before I got married I went to the 'gine...
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"Take me Garth.""Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket."
Working title; Calendar of Neglect aka excuses. November 12, Husband has what was originally supposed to be a bunionectomy, which I think is a funny name for the removal of a bunion, but it turns...
View Article"Of course, it's definitely less weird than eating cheap wine and stale bread...
I daydream about finding a job far away for the month of December. Like maybe in Arizona. Where it's warm, but I'm not abondoning my family for a beach and an umbrella. I don't want a vacation....
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Trifecta
The view from my windows; trees, birds, mountains rolling. It’s hard to see your friends out here. Luckily, if I look to the left I have my portal to them throughout the world. Thank you so so much...
View Article"Oh man, I was dreaming I had a kangaroo pouch. It was like a purse, I could...
*SPOILER ALERT If you haven't seen Return to Zero or don't want to read about it skip this post* I recorded this movie with the intention of ignoring it until who knows, when I have a rainbow baby or...
View Article"They were sportsing pretty hard out there. They did the thing, and won the...
I work in a hotel renowned for being haunted. You can rent ghost hunting kits for your stay. The maid's closet is at the top of the stairs, with a perfect view of the ac vent. During the summer...
View Article"If I get really frustrated in traffic I have to pull over and whisper the F...
You had to know I was going to write about this... Wednesday, September 9, 2015, I awoke with a nervous stomach. Normally on Wednesdays I volunteer in G's classroom, but that day I would be taking a...
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The pictures.
The view from town where ballet class took place. View from the Y looking towards the junkyard at the same time. View towards the junkyard 15 minutes after I left. This is equipment exploding. View...
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"...I was like OH MY GOD THANKSGIVING HATES US but then I realized, nah, this...
At last year's end of the year performance, G had a big snot bubble form and just hang out the entire time she was onstage. It was horrifying. So needless to say when she caught a cold 3 days before...
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